WWE Wrestlemania XXXII Predictions 2016 – April 3, 2016 – Predictions from Smartasses Magazine Senior Editor- Johnny Video.
WWE Wrestlemania 32 Predictions 2016 | Pay Per View Predictions – SA Magazine
Once again, the WWE looks to give you their best “sermon” while you’re in the “church” that is the WWE Network, in hopes of creating even more regular viewers. The good news is that there are eleven matches on the card. Then again, that could be the bad news as well, seeing as how we all remember how rushed Wrestlemania 30 felt. The other good news is that, since they are coming to you live from AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, chances are real high that the record of 93,173 people who squeezed into the Pontiac Silverdome for WrestleMania III stands to be broken. Hey, if nothing else, since Fifth Harmony will perform America The Beautiful to start things off, we all get to gaze upon Smartasses Magazine’s #68 Sexiest Woman Alive of 2016, Camila Cabello for a few minutes.
THE USO’S VS THE DUDLEY BOYZ
“After enduring weeks of The Dudleys’ disparaging remarks, Jimmy & Jey Uso get set to face Bubba Ray & D-Von.”
What began with a shocking betrayal will culminate with a deeply personal inter-family duel on the special two-hour WrestleMania Kickoff. Anoa’i Dynasty, meet The Dudleys. Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley shredded any illusion that they were a glad-handing nostalgia act when, on the Feb 8, 2016 Raw, they turned their backs on Jimmy & Jey and viciously sent them through tables. Now seeing red, The Usos are intent on showing The Dudleys exactly why they, and not Bubba Ray & D-Von, were named the 2015 Slammy Tag Team of the Year.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: “You say ‘Three’, we say ‘Dee!'”
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: If this match is first, the Uso’s exact revenge. I think this match is first.
Winner: The Usos
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
KALISTO (C) VS RYBACK
“Despite an immense size disadvantage, United States Champion Kalisto has agreed to face Ryback on the WrestleMania Kickoff.”
United States Champion Kalisto may be nine inches shorter and 120 pounds lighter than Ryback, but that hasn’t stopped The King of Flight from accepting The Big Guy’s challenge to a title match on the WrestleMania Kickoff. Ryback insists that the bigger the Superstar, the larger the spotlight. Not to be lost in the debate, however, is the fact the death-defying aerialist Kalisto has toppled Ryback once before, in the first round of last November’s WWE World Heavyweight Tournament.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Ryback pulls out a fly swatter and shatters records for the shortest Wrestlemania match, ever.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: If this match is the very first one? Kalisto wins. I don’t believe it will be the first match.
TOTAL DIVAS VS BAD & BLONDE
“Eva Marie joins the Total Divas squad in taking on Lana’s B.A.D. & Blonde team on The Grandest Stage of Them All.”
Total Divas Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox & Eva Marie will attempt to put aside their differences long enough to take down the squad of B.A.D. & Blonde, featuring Lana, Naomi, Tamina, Emma & Summer Rae, this Sunday on the WrestleMania Kickoff. The bout also marks the in-ring debut of the Diva who sparked the war in the first place, Lana, the Ravishing Russian who began targeting Brie Bella weeks ago, and soon aligned herself with Team B.A.D.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Smartasses Magazine’s #62 Sexiest Woman Alive of 2016, Paige, gives Lana a good spanking with a wooden spoon in the middle of the ring while Brie watches.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Unfortunately, Paige will be a non-factor in this match, though she and Emma are certainly destined to get into it and rekindle the old NXT rivalry. With that said, I’m pretty sure we all know it’s going to come down to Brie pinning Lana, especially since this is rumored to be Brie’s final match.
Winner: The Total Divas
THE 3RD ANNUAL ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL
“Which Superstar will stand tall in the Battle Royal honoring The Eighth Wonder of the World?”
One of WrestleMania’s fastest-growing traditions will return this Sunday when a legion of Superstars collide in the 3rd Annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. The melee continues until just one man is standing, and the winner will earn not only the distinction of being the event’s third victor, but also a statue bearing Andre’s likeness. So far, the following Superstars have declared they will enter this year’s edition of the Battle Royal: Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Adam Rose, Bo Dallas, Big Show, Kane, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Konnor, Viktor, Goldust, and R-Truth.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: All twenty men pull up Netflix and rent a B-movie, because that’s what this is.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Pick one of those twenty-sided dice from Dungeons & Dragons and roll it. Actually, it’s not quite that open for debate. Sandow and Breeze are never on TV, so you can rule them out- though I do believe Sandow will be one of the last two like 2015. You can also rule out anyone from the Social Outcasts. To break it down even further, the previous two winners of this match never really gained any kind of push centered around the victory, which means that it seemingly came down to who the WWE wanted to throw a bone to. In that spirit, assuming a Wyatt doesn’t enter the contest at the last second, my money comes down to any one of Kane, Goldust or Mark Henry.
THE NEW DAY VS THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS
“The New Day take on The League of Nations in a battle for supremacy at WrestleMania 32.”
The time for joking has ended. At WrestleMania, the WWE’s dominant faction will be revealed when WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day take on The League of Nations in a grave battle for supremacy. The New Day first earned the ire of Sheamus, Rusev, Alberto Del Rio & King Barrett by tweeting a series of videos in which Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods portrayed League members in absurd scenarios. Not taking kindly to the parodies, The League vows revenge.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Somebody gets a trombone stuck up their keister.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: The titles aren’t on the line, and it’s four on three in favor of the international bad guys.
Winner: The League of Nations
CHRIS JERICHO VS AJ STYLES
“As WrestleMania comes into focus, the mutual respect between AJ Styles and Chris Jericho has faded, replaced by outright animosity.”
Following AJ Styles’ memorable debut in the 2016 Royal Rumble Match, the yearning for dream bouts between Styles and WWE’s best was at the top of everyone’s wish list. The two did not disappoint, delivering an instant classic that left the WWE Universe inside Quicken Loans Arena astonished from start to finish. The Phenomenal One ultimately prevailed, proving his mettle as one of WWE’s newest elites. In a somewhat surprising turn of events, the often-hotheaded Jericho offered a handshake to Styles following the contest at WWE Fastlane. Styles accepted the peace offering, and the two began teaming up in subsequent weeks. Dubbing themselves Y2AJ, the pair quickly ascended to a WWE Tag Team Championship opportunity.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: A sixty minute match.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Kind of hard to see where they’re going with this since we all thought it was over and done with. But Y2J does like to put people over at Wrestlemania.
Winner: AJ Styles
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH
KEVIN OWENS (C) VS SAMI ZAYN VS DOLPH ZIGGLER VS ZACK RYDER VS SIN CARA VS THE MIZ VS STARDUST
“Six Superstars threaten to steal the spotlight from Kevin Owens in what is sure to be a chaotic race to the Intercontinental Championship.”
Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens may have thought that there was no one deserving enough to challenge him at KO-Mania, but he didn’t have a say in the matter, as he must now defend his title against six Superstars in a Ladder Match on The Grandest Stage of Them All. Will he be able to retrieve his title, or will one of his six challengers scale to new heights and etch a WrestleMania moment?
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: I would have said “Dolph Ziggler wins” but I’m so sick of hoping for his push, I’ve given up.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Is it just me or are Ziggler and The Miz really in every Intercontinental Title match since 1983? Either way, this match is all about Zayn and Owens.
Winner: Kevin Owens
DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
CHARLOTTE (C) VS BECKY LYNCH VS SASHA BANKS
“Which revolutionary will surge past her competition in her WrestleMania debut?”
Last July, Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch sparked a revolution. Arriving to WWE at the exact same moment, the three NXT alumnae immediately dug in their heels and put the Divas division’s old guard on notice– Change had arrived. Months removed from their historic debuts, the significance of the uprising is more obvious than ever, as Charlotte — now the reigning Divas Champion — gets set to defend the title against The Boss and The Irish Lass Kicker in a Triple Threat Match at WrestleMania.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Paige comes to the ring and the quartet decides to form The Four Female Horsemen.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Say goodbye to the WWE Divas division and the purple butterfly belt. Who better to usher in a new era of The Women’s Division than Sasha Banks?
Winner: Sasha Banks
NO HOLDS BARRED STREET FIGHT
DEAN AMBROSE VS BROCK LESNAR
“Dean Ambrose wanted a fight, and he’ll get his wish when he faces Brock Lesnar with No Holds Barred.”
Brock Lesnar has built a legacy out of conquering the competition, but at WrestleMania, he’ll face a Superstar who won’t run from a brawl, when he battles Dean Ambrose in a No Holds Barred Match. Considering the punishment Lesnar delivered to Ambrose in recent weeks, the unstable brawler would have to be a lunatic to want a match against the destructive competitor. But after Lesnar brutally attacked Ambrose in the parking lot before the Feb 22, 2016 Raw, driving him through a car windshield and sending him to the hospital, Ambrose wanted to get even. He commandeered an ambulance and returned to Raw to call out The Beast, asking for a No Holds Barred Match at WrestleMania.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: It’s already cool. What’s cooler than, and says “Road to Wrestlemania” more than a quintessential move like commandeering an ambulance on Raw?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: A brawl that feels like an hour, but really only lasts twenty minutes, with the Lunatic Fringe getting his retribution when all is said and done. In fact, he’ll beat Lesnar so badly, it’ll give the WWE an excuse to keep him off of television till about SummerSlam time.
Winner: Dean Ambrose
HELL IN A CELL MATCH
SHANE MCMAHON VS THE UNDERTAKER
“Undertaker will fight for his legacy at The Showcase of the Immortals when he enters Hell in a Cell to face someone born into WWE royalty, and eyeing control over its flagship program, Raw.”
If The Deadman loses, not only will Shane take over Monday nights, but, thanks to a stipulation revealed by WWE Chairman Mr. McMahon, The Undertaker will also be barred from competing at WrestleMania ever again. If Shane loses, he must surrender a lock box of family secrets to his father, and Mr. McMahon will also write Shane out of his will — leaving everything to Stephanie, and disowning his son.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Another sixty-minute match.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: This is the kind of writing that hooked me onto the WWE the first time back in 1985. A lock box of family secrets? Disowning your son just for losing a wrestling match? That’s gold, people. Gold. Either way, WWE will find a way to live in the world of And here, ensuring Undertaker wins and Shane gets control of Raw. The whole “Undertaker is fired if he loses” angle is just a swerve to make you believe he’s retiring. No way he goes out losing to a non-wrestler.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
TRIPLE H (C) VS ROMAN REIGNS
“Blood has been spilled and payback exacted, but at WrestleMania, one Superstar will emerge as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.”
As The Road to WrestleMania rounds its final bend, Roman Reigns finds himself, once again, staring down the finish line and the prize at the end of the run. This time, however, it won’t be the unstoppable Beast Incarnate looking to deny The Big Dog, but current WWE World Heavyweight Champion Triple H, the unyielding figurehead of The Authority and the man who effectively snatched the title from Reigns in the closing moments of the 2016 Royal Rumble Match. After The Cerebral Assassin mercilessly ambushed The Big Dog on the Feb 22, 2016 edition of Raw — shattering the challenger’s nose with a Pedigree onto steel steps — Reigns was forced to undergo emergency nasal reconstruction surgery the following day. But rather than back down to The Authority, Reigns surged forward with greater ferocity, returning three weeks later to smash a TV over The Game’s back.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Triple H actually wins.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Want some ketchup to go with that Reigns we’re shoving down your throat?
Winner: Roman Reigns
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