WWE Summer Slam 2013 Predictions – August 18, 2013 – Predictions from Smartasses Magazine Senior Editor- Johnny Video.
WWE Summerslam 2013 Predictions | Pay Per View Predictions – SA Magazine
WWE Summerslam is obviously one of the most highly anticipated pay per views of the year. Hailing from Los Angeles, California, on Sunday, August 18, 2013 – Summerslam typically is expected to deliver superior wrestling and great storytelling, but recently it’s been used more for one huge match and a bunch of five-minute garbage matches. Many people are saying last week’s Raw was one of the best episodes of the year. Well, of course it was – it’s the go home show. So the question remains, will Summerslam be the biggest party of the dog days, or will it just be another dog with all bark and no bite?
United States Championship
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Rob Van Dam
The Shield had a very highly acclaimed kickoff match against The Usos at Money In The Bank, and surely the WWE is hoping for more of the same from Dean Ambrose and RVD, especially with this Summerslam kickoff match beginning an hour before the show instead of thirty minutes. For some crazy reason, RVD is very over with the fans. Considering most TNA fans had to stop yawning in order to participate whenever No-Job-Rob pointed to his shoulders with his thumbs, I suppose it speaks volumes for the intelligence level of the WWE Universe. TNA fans knew he was boring, whether they put a golden calf around his waist or not… which is exactly what the US Title has become. Fortunately, the WWE Creative is smarter than both their fans and the former TNA creative. Plus RVD won on Raw, and we all know what that means…
Winner: Dean Ambrose
Natalya vs. Brie Bella
Welcome to the #TotalDivas match. Due to Twitter interaction, WWE considered making this a tag match involving Maria “Butt-Stain” Menounos, who would team with Natalya to face the Bellas, but according to reports, that match has been moved to Axxess. The Bellas are the stars of the reality show, which should lead you to believe that they (yes, plural) will get the win here, but after all the duck-calling and conveniently planted news of how Natalya gets abused on TV despite all of the training-of-other-wrestlers she does… Summerslam needs a feel good moment. So I’m going to go against the other experts and call this one for the white-hats.
Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow
The nice thing about this feud is that it’s helping push both wrestlers’ careers. With that said, though Sandow won the Money in the Bank briefcase, Cody continues to get the best of him every week, including last Monday’s distraction that caused Damien to waltz right into an RKO. So unless WWE wants Sandow to become as completely unthreatening as a flea, he needs a win here.
Winner: Damien Sandow
Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn vs. Big E Langston and AJ Lee
This WWE rivalry is odd in the sense that Dolph Ziggler is over more than Big E Langston, but Smartasses Magazine’s 2013 #16 Sexiest Woman Alive, AJ Lee, is over more than Kaitlyn is. That’s the reality of it at least, though the WWE creative would like to think their resident good-girl Diva is the darling of fans everywhere. Either way, having Langston & Lee lose on Raw to Khali & Natalya, two Superstars who frequently lose, leaves logic to indicate that Dolph and Kaitlyn should have a cakewalk at Summerslam. But, then again, therein lies a perfect example of the quintessential, typical, and predictable WWE ‘swerve’. Let’s face it- Natalya is only getting air time in the earlier match to start becoming the new number-one contender, and the reason she’s facing a Bella is to get the Total Divas show over. So Kaitlyn needs to be removed from the title hunt, and the only way that can happen is if she loses here. Plus, not only do we know AJ and Big E will win simply because they lost on Raw, Dolph needs to leave Summerslam pissed off just to keep the feud between him and Langston more interesting. This is the no-brainer of no-brainers.
Winner: AJ Lee & Big E Langston
Ring of Fire Match
Kane vs. Bray Wyatt
The match to make Johnny Cash happy. We really don’t know how far the psycho Bray Wyatt will go, though we imagine it’s pretty far, but we certainly do know full well how deep Kane will. Kane’s intense acts of evil over the years have certainly proven how dangerous the Big Red Monster really is, as he’s proven time and time again that he’s willing to eat souls for his own pleasure. But then again, these days, he’s just a lovable old teddy bear of a monster, isn’t he?
Winner: Bray Wyatt
CM Punk vs Brock Lesnar
CM Punk beating Brock Lesnar, standing tall, and then beating up Paul Heyman is really what the WWE Universe wants to see. However, Triple H beating Brock Lesnar, standing tall, and then beating up Paul Heyman is what we wanted to see at last year’s Summerslam and we didn’t get it. Not at least until Wrestlemania and after. History repeats itself.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Christian
Christian? Who? Is WWE afraid he’ll go back to TNA or something? This match just screams filler, and though I would have said Christian had absolutely no momentum going into this, the video retrospect of Christian’s career which played on Raw gave it at least a small spark. Suddenly, this match had significantly more meaning. Coupled with Del Rio interrupting Christian backstage and taunting him with the World Heavyweight Championship… maybe they’ll give Christian one last hurrah. Besides, ADR hasn’t exactly been exciting lately, there are a lot of other bad guys winning tonight, and the WWE severely needs someone who can make that belt matter again. Since it’s not going to be Ziggler…
John Cena (c) vs. Daniel Bryan
Sometimes a food is so good, it just doesn’t need you to go adding peanut butter and pepper to it. Sadly, the McMahon family drama has overshadowed this feud in recent weeks, and although the McMahon drama has been great, and the Randy Orton and Triple H stuff have been interesting too, I really believe that any true wrestling fan feels this match would have just been better without any extraneous seasoning to it. The only outcome anyone wants to see happen is for Daniel Bryan to beat Cena clean with no interference, cheating, special guest referees, MITB cash-ins, distractions, Shields, blackouts, Brad Maddoxes, managers, MizTV’s, mishaps… nothing but a good clean win or a tap out. Will that happen? Of course not. I’m positive Orton will cash in, and I’m also positive HHH, Brad Maddox and McMahon will be involved somehow because the world wants Daniel Bryan to get the belt very badly… so they’re not going to give it to you quite so easily. So why does that mean there will be shenanigans? Because John Cena obviously cannot do anything underhanded, and if John Cena wins clean, the WWE will piss off so much of it’s universe, that it will be an absolute forgone conclusion that they’ll immediately kill off half their audience by “Supermanning” John Cena yet again. So clearly, the WWE has to think outside the box to keep you wanting more for just a little bit longer.
Winner: John Cena
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