WWE Wrestlemania XXXI Predictions 2015 – March 29, 2015 – Predictions from Smartasses Magazine Senior Editor- Johnny Video.
WWE Wrestlemania 31 Predictions 2015 | Pay Per View Predictions – SA Magazine
As we said last year, just like going to church on Easter, the WWE knows they’ll be bringing in a slew of part time viewers, so they’re out to give their best “sermon” in hopes of creating more regular viewers. With that said, it is now three years in a row, that, on paper, no celebrities are anywhere near the card of matches, and this pay per view looks to be shaping up pretty well. Even the Hall of Fame class including Larry Zybysko, Schwarzenegger to get that Terminator: Genisys tie in (and Emila Clarke’s blessing, no doubt), and the long overdue Randy “Macho Man” Savage looks to be great, as long as, as discussed on last week’s Smartasses Radio, Kevin Nash stays away from the ravioli during his speech. But I digress…
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP FATAL 4-WAY PRE-SHOW MATCH
THE USOS VS. LOS MATADORES VS. THE NEW DAY VS. CESARO & TYSON KIDD (c)
“Tyson Kidd & Cesaro’s WWE Tag Team Championship reign may be less than a month old — fact — but in a division packed with worthy contenders, the new champions must defend the titles against The New Day’s Big E & Kofi Kingston, Los Matadores and former two-time champions The Usos in a Fatal 4-Way on the WrestleMania Kickoff.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: The Ascension sticks their noses in the match and puts The New Day on the shelf forever.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Vegas says the odds are in favor of Tyson & Cesaro to retain, and that the Uso’s are the biggest underdog. Not sure why that is. Los Matadores got over on Monday night, so you can rule them out, and unless the WWE is as blind as a bat, they already know The New Day is an epic fail destined to become a heel-comedy act. I was all ready to pick the Usos to win and start things off with a feel-good moment, but after Jimmy Uso ended up getting the win with a Superfly Splash to Cesaro on Smackdown!, despite thinking the oddsmakers are absolutely nuts picking the Usos as last, I’ll still have to go with Las Vegas in terms of the winner.
Winner: Tyson & Cesaro
THE ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL – PRE SHOW
“The legacy of WWE Hall of Famer Andre the Giant will loom large at WrestleMania 31, as a legion of Superstars will enter Levi’s® Stadium with the goal of winning the 2nd Annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal as part of WrestleMania Kickoff.”
The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor, Viktor and Hideo Itam are your twenty men.
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Curtis Axel wins and somehow declares it to be closure on “still being in” the Royal Rumble.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Most people are saying Damien Mizdow will finally have karma strike in his favor and get the win over The Miz, but after The Miz was pinned by Ryback on Monday, one has to wonder how gratifying that would actually be, as The Miz doesn’t exactly look strong here. I would have went off the board and actually predicted the Axel notion above, if he hadn’t gotten his butt kicked by an emaciated sucker stick by the name of Snoop Dog on Raw. So it creates a bit of a toss-up for me. Surely, since the previous match has a bad guy winning, this match has to be won by a babyface in order to properly kick things off, and the only two aside of Mizdow that make even the slightest bit of sense are Goldust or Swagger. I’ll leave it to the match itself to further along the Miz story, and focus on the WWE needing a third ingredient to the Rusev tale.
Winner: Jack Swagger
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH
BAD NEWS BARRETT (c) vs R-TRUTH vs STARDUST vs DANIEL BRYAN vs DOLPH ZIGGLER vs LUKE HARPER vs DEAN AMBROSE
“The first Superstar to scale a ladder and capture the Intercontinental Championship, which will be hanging high above the ring inside Levi’s® Stadium, will be declared the victor on March 29.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Daniel Bryan wins and gives a whole heck of a lot of credibility back to the Intercontinental belt.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Vegas has Bryan winning. Everyone has Bryan winning. But if the WWE has proven anything, it’s that they are always one step behind in adapting to what the WWE Universe truly wants, as opposed to what they think they want. Batista winning the Royal Rumble last year and Roman Reigns winning it this year certainly prove that. But I say they finally play catchup on this match. Look at it this way– sure, the Universe wants Daniel Bryan to win, but they’ll be almost just as happy if Dolph Ziggler or Dean Ambrose come down with the victory. They’ll also be more happy if Daniel Bryan gets in the hunt for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, which he cannot do if he has the white belt. Since Ziggler got the win over Bryan on Monday and was quickly taken out by special guest referee Dean Ambrose… who was then taken out by everyone else in the match… it sure will feel good when Ambrose finally puts it around his waist on Sunday. Maybe we’ll even get a Best of Seven between Dean and Dolph to carry us over to Summerslam.
Winner: Dean Ambrose
DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH
AJ LEE & PAIGE vs THE BELLA TWINS
“The voice of the Divas division could change radically at WrestleMania 31, when the popular, albeit unlikely, team of AJ Lee & Paige take aim at the top, battling Brie Bella and her fearless twin sister, Divas Champion Nikki Bella.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Smartasses Magazine’s #2 Sexiest Woman Alive from our March 23rd, 2015 Top 100 Sexiest Women Alive reveal, AJ Lee, is put on a throne before the match even begins, while Paige and the Bella Twins kiss her gorgeous Chuck Taylors and pledge to be her lesbian love slaves.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Due to the recent, saturated “Can AJ & Paige get along?” debacle, I could see the Bella’s pulling this out somehow. But there’s a reason 99.9% of WWE fans would sell their immortal souls to see AJ & Paige go on a tear through the Diva’s Division that lasts the better part of a decade, and Wrestlemania is all about making the fans happy. Plus, the Bellas went over on Monday & Thursday, so the opposite will happen.
Winner: AJ Lee & Paige
RANDY ORTON vs SETH ROLLINS
“With both men fueled by bitterness and a mutual disdain for one another, Randy Orton and Seth Rollins prepare to do battle on The Grandest Stage of Them All.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: As much as I hate celebrities intervening at Wrestlemania, at least John Stewart is tolerable. It’d be great if he shows up and creates a way for Rollins to lose, while allowing Seth enough energy to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase at the end of the show.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Rollins wins in some kind of strong, yet nefarious way, that creates a “Will he or won’t he?” (cash in) question hanging in the air throughout the rest of the show. Plus Seth Rollins is a bad guy people like, more than they like Randy Orton as a babyface.
Winner: Seth Rollins
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
RUSEV (c) vs JOHN CENA
“Watch a war between worlds at WrestleMania 31, as United States Champion Rusev defends his title against challenger John Cena.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: As much as this actually is one of the WWE’s best, yet futile attempts at getting John Cena over with the world, I’m inclined to think that 99% of that world would side with me in saying that the best way for this to end, would be for Lana to give John Cena a nice over the knee spanking when all is said and done.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Cena simply has to get the United States belt.
Winner: John Cena
THE UNDERTAKER VS. BRAY WYATT
“Bray Wyatt has been calling out The Undertaker for weeks, promising that he will take The Deadman’s soul on The Grandest Stage of Them All. The New Face of Fear will get his wish, as The Phenom has accepted his challenge for Sunday, March 29 in what may be, perhaps, the most frightening showdown in WrestleMania history.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: A sixty-minute match.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: No way ‘Taker loses two Wrestlemanias in a row after winning twenty-one straight. Besides, he has to look strong to build for Sting next year- and Sting vs Undertaker has to take place next year. Sting’s already 57 years old after all.
STING VS. TRIPLE H
“After years of speculation, The Vigilante, Sting, will finally compete inside a WWE ring at WrestleMania 31, where he will face the very cornerstone of WWE, Triple H.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Another sixty-minute match.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Read what I said above, and insert “Sting” wherever it says Cena or Undertaker.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
BROCK LESNAR (c) vs ROMAN REIGNS
“At WrestleMania 31, the WWE Universe will find out who truly is the biggest dog in the yard when Roman Reigns challenges WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar on The Grandest Stage of Them All.”
WHAT WOULD BE COOL: Reigns and Lesnar beat the crap out of each other, putting each other over in the process, only to have Seth Rollins cash in, and lose to Lesnar, when all is said and done.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN: We all know what was supposed to happen. We were all supposed to be happy with Reigns winning the Royal Rumble, and living out the dream of battling his way to headline Wrestlemania 31 and walk away with a belt and confetti stuck to his face. Same thing as Batista last year. But just like last year, the WWE Universe doesn’t want to be spoon fed predictability– they simply want Daniel Bryan to have the belt he never lost. Well, that’s what’s going to happen. Eventually. That’s why Bryan has to not win the Intercontinental Championship ladder match. Remember that epic battle between Reigns and Bryan for the number one contendership a few weeks ago? They took each other to the limit. Brock and Roman will have a similar match here, but Lesnar will come out the winner. The cherry on top of that proverbial sundae of Brock-awesomeness will be when Seth Rollins comes down to cash in his Money In The Bank Briefcase on a decimated Brock Lesnar, and loses, therefore begging the question, “Can anyone beat Brock Lesnar?” It will sure make Summerslam really sweet when Daniel Bryan does exactly that. Plus we get a few more months of Paul Heyman adding three more syllables to the name “Brrrrr-rock!”
Winner: Brock Lesnar
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