TNA Slammiversary 2012

TNA Slammiversary 2012 Predictions – June 10, 2012 – Predictions from Smartasses Magazine Senior Editor- Johnny Video.

TNA Slammiversary 2012 Predictions | Pay Per View Predictions – SA Magazine

Well, I said last month with my TNA Sacrifice Predictions (that were so accurate, people were wondering if I actually booked the event) that Sting would magically reappear. Well, he did… it was just a few weeks late. With that said, there really has been very little focus on building up for Slammiversary,  leaving me scratching my head to the point where you can almost picture the cartoon question-mark floating above my bald head. But let’s remember, this is not only Slammiversary (TNA’s answer to Summerslam) this is the tenth anniversary of TNA– a significant milestone, so look for huge, huge, huge things to happen. I’m actually excited.




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Hall of Fame Inductee

There is much speculation as to who is going to be the first TNA Hall of Fame inductee, and as far as predicting who it will be, it almost comes down to seeing how the presentation takes place. Since the official headline reads “first inductee to be announced at Slammiversary on June 10” to me, this clearly means that there is going to be no “black tie” event… which leads me to believe that someone in the TNA hierarchy will be in the middle of the ring with a microphone in hand… and that leads me to believe that a story line will ensue. Who that person is holding the microphone may just be the key to trying to guess the identity of the award recipient. But let’s take a look at the facts first… and then get into some possible scenarios.

Fact: Christian is on a plane headed for Texas as I write this article. Dixie tweeted it. A picture of “Christian Cage” under the gold letters of “Slammiversary” is the first thing you see on the impactwrestling.com website.

Fact: Sting said during a recent interview,  whoever the inductee to the TNA Hall of Fame is, it should not be him, and he believes that AJ Styles or Jeff Jarrett should go in before him.

Fact: Everyone knows Macho Man Randy Savage is conspicuously absent from the WWE Hall of Fame. However, in response to an email from a fan as to whether TNA is looking to induct his brother Randy Savage into the Hall of Fame, Lanny Poffo said, “Nobody has contacted me about TNA Hall of Fame.”

Now then, if Bruce Pritchard is the one in the ring making the announcement, then it really is anyone’s guess as to how things will turn out. If Hulk Hogan is the person announcing the name of the first TNA HOF inductee however, then Randy Savage almost becomes the obvious answer. However, based on the tweet from Randy’s brother, I don’t see that one playing out.

So let’s look at who it might be if Dixie is holding the mike. First up, is Jay “Christian” Reso. Let’s face it, the guy was in a film called Dark Rising which Dixie Carter had a hand in (ironically, Dixie’s company also has a significant hand in Mickie James’ country music career). That notwithstanding, let’s also remember that everyone knows that the WWE is supposed to “return the favor” to Dixie regarding TNA allowing Ric Flair to appear at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony back in April, when Flair was inducted as one of the Four Horsemen. However… I think that’s where the Christian argument ends. I think he does nothing more than just sit in the crowd (or possibly gets involved in the Crimson match later). Think about it: From a character standpoint alone, it would almost be sacrilegious for a character as inane as Christian Cage to be the very first person inducted into the TNA HOF, not to mention, how much of an uproar would it cause within TNA Nation if the first person they induct is the current WWE Intercontinental Champion?

So when you break it down, there really are only three, deserving options left- Sting, AJ Styles, or Jeff Jarrett.

Well guess what? Karen Jarrett recently tweeted the following (when she was at the Country Music Awards with husband Jeff, James Storm, Stone Cold Steve Austin and others), regarding the current storyline involving the alleged affair between Dixie Carter and AJ Styles: “I’m thinking it’s about home for @TNADixie to be exposed!”

So let’s apply some common sense. I realize that Jeff Jarrett has been off of TV for some time now, doing his thing in Mexico with AAA, but come on, this is still his company… you really think he is not going to be present at the 10th Anniverary Show? My guess is that the HOF announcement will be at about the halfway point of the PPV, prior to the AJ & Angle Tag Match. Jeff & Karen Jarrett, along with Christian Cage and a few big name Country Music stars will all have been shown on TV as being in attendance at this point of the broadcast, which will not only sell the pomp & circumstance of what a large scale event this truly is, but it will also possibly aid the selling of the ensuing Velvet Sky & Mickie James feud regarding the Montgomery Gentry country music video.

Furthermore, TNA is focusing on an “anything can happen” setting, and it’s working. Folks, this is a setup. Karen and Jeff were at the CMA for a reason. James Storm was there for a reason. TNA is weaving a very, very tangled web.

So bet your bottom dollar, it will be Dixie holding the microphone, and it will not be Christian, nor Sting, nor even Jeff Jarrett who gets the first induction- it will be AJ Styles, and boy will the chaos ensue.  Jarrett gets pissed, and rightfully so that he, the founder, isn’t the first inductee. Dixie’s husband Serg has all the more reason to believe there is an affair going on. Daniels & Kazarian. Mickie & Velvet. Christian. James Storm. Montgomery Gentry. Hogan. Sting. Etc and so on. If TNA is a bicycle wheel, folks, this is the center of that wheel with countless “spokes” coming off of it. TNA just got a lot more interesting… and I mean “interesting” like, on a “Who Shot J.R.?” level of interesting.

Inductee: AJ Styles

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Knockouts Championship
Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim (c)
56% of the fans believe Gail Kim will win and retain.

TNA Slammiversary 2012 Predictions - Gail KimAlthough Brooke Tessmacher is a huge friend of Smartasses Radio sister show, Pro Wrestling Weekend, hey, I’m not a regular on the show (just a fill in guy) so I can be as big of a Gail Kim mark as I want to be. I personally love it everytime she hits “Eat De-Feet” because from a storyline perspective, I sincerely believe that’s where each of the Knockouts in TNA belongs. In my world, Kim would not only hold every belt but she’d be sitting on a throne for each episode. Like she says, “Everything revolves around ME.” and it should.

Unfortunately… my little “Gail Is God Fantasy” dies tonight. Brooke has arguably gone from the worst female wrestler in the business, to one of the best female in ring performers alive today, and if I had to be an impartial judge, I would say that the Kim-Tessmacher match at Sacrifice was not only the match of the night, but arguably the female match of the year… and Brooke Tessmacher hit her spots better than Gail Kim did that night. Let’s face it, the Heavyweight Belt, X-Division Belt, and Knockouts Belt have all been held for record lengths of time- one of them has to fall at TNA’s Summer blockbuster, and they’ve set it up for the Knockouts belt to be the one that changes hands: Gail was being as cocky as humanly possible last Thursday, she cheated to beat Tessmacher at Sacrifice, the “Ass-tastic Tessflockers” have grown exponentially over the last few months, and most importantly, Brooke Tessmacher is arguably the most talented female in their ranks right now. Look for Brooke to get the win, and for Gail to run to Karen Jarrett for some hugs and pouting when it’s all over. And no, Madison Rayne will not be the reason why. Not for this match anyway…

Winner: Brooke Tessmacher

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Kid Kash vs. Hernandez
54% of the fans believe Hernandez will win.

At first, this feels like a throwaway match. But I beg to differ. First of all, the X-Division needs more guys. Second of all, “Mexican America”, which is seemingly broken up now that Anarquia has been released, is not only a fantastic angle, people love seeing Sarita & Rosita on television, so they would be wise to use this match to not only keep them relevant, but to also rebuild the X-Division. One man solves both issues- Chavo Guerrero, currently wrestling for TNA’s Ring Ka King. My prediction is that Kid Kash almost wins this, till Chavo interferes, which not only reunites (and completely re-energizes) Mexican America, but also gives the X-Division two more relevant guys (Kash & Chavo). There’s also more to think about- depending upon where all of the HOF stuff takes place in the show, let’s also remember that Jeff Jarrett has been in Mexico for some time. There is an outside chance that Mex-Am reappears with Jarrett’s blessing as well, birthing a whole new “Anti-Dixie” faction within TNA, in one fell swoop. But that’s a bit of a stretch.

Winner: Hernandez

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Robbie T & Robbie E vs Devon & Garett Bischoff
68% of the fans believe Devon & Garett Bischoff will win.

I am still in agreement that anyone with the last name Bischoff needs to not be on my television screen. Garett is boring, and hasn’t paid his dues. As for Devon, I can’t take anything away from the guy, especially since it was mostly him that pulled for Team 3-D to go solo… but the clapping, mat-pounding babyface that panders to the crowd is just tiresome to me, even though it has it’s place in the business, just like the Designated Hitter has a place in baseball, despite the fact that it makes the game more boring. As for “Team Robbie” I still, for the life of me, cannot understand why I read countless blogs stating the opinion that these guys do not deserve their spot. We all clamor for wrestling of the eighties or mid-nineties, and these two bring us exactly that. The clipboard? The velvet rope? Come on… that is classic stuff, not to mention that Robbie E has always been great in the ring… and Robbie T is vastly improving.

With that said, for this match people are making the same prediction that I, and they, made for the previous two pay per views- that somehow the two Robbies will not be on the same page, and Devon’s side will score the victory on an easy rollup. Sorry kids, not this time, and the reason for that is because Madison Rayne will be the wildcard (yes, for this match, not the previous one like some believe). It’s becoming ever more clear that Garett Bischoff is the object of her affections, and though it won’t be purposeful, she will prove to be the distraction that allows the two Robbies to get the win. Hopefully, a Devon-Garett feud ensues from this, and TNA turns one of them heel as a result, because both of their characters could really use a huge injection of “interesting” sooner than later.

Winner: Robbie T & Robbie E

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Samoa Joe vs Austin Aries
58% of the fans believe Austin Aries will win.

As I said in the intro, that this Slammiversary is about new beginnings, and this is one of them. A lot of people were wondering why this was on the card at all. Aries threw water on Joe? Hunh? When? Where? I must have blinked and missed it. Then the next thing I knew… the match was being pulled (before I even knew it had been announced?) and Joe was tweeting, bitching about being escorted from the building at the May 31 live iMPACT. Now the match is back on, and they spent a few seconds telling us why last Thursday. Okay. So we have a new feud between two great wrestlers. Let’s go with it.

First and foremost, I’m glad to see they didn’t just let Joe fade away after the tag-team-belt loss last month. Furthermore, the fact that Joe & Magnus never got a rematch tells me they have bigger & better planned for Joe since he’s wrestling Sunday, and Magnus is not. With that in mind, if this is the start of a new feud, feuds don’t *usually* begin with the babyface winning- that’s usually reserved for ending feuds (even though yes, this is TNA), and lastly… if Aries wins this, then that honestly puts him about fifty-feet onto the John Cena-esque “undefeatable-superhero” mountain and TNA really cannot allow that to happen. It’s time to bring Aries back down to Earth.

Winner: Samoa Joe

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Bully Ray vs Joseph Park
59% of the fans believe Joseph Park will win.

You know what’s never been explained- Where did Abyss disappear to in the first place? We also know that Bully Ray is responsible for Abyss’ disappearance, but how? Did Bully Ray tie him up somewhere? Throw him in a trunk for six months? And why would Abyss be roaming around freely now, especially telling his brother that he is “too close to the fire” (almost selling Bully Ray’s power in the process)… if he really was kidnapped? Shouldn’t he still be “napped”? And if not, wouldn’t he just be kicking Bully Ray’s ass, or cowering in fear of him?

It’s these kinds of questions that lead me to believe that we’re all trying to guess the ending to a book containing one-hundred twisting and turning chapters, while we’re only on chapter two. With that disclaimer in place, a lot of what goes into predicting this match not only involves analyzing the history, but also comes down to knowing where it falls on the card in relation to the Crimson match, because it’s entirely conceivable that Abyss will be Crimson’s “mystery opponent” and not even get involved in the Bully-Joe match at all. It would certainly make it easier for Chris Parks to not have to be on TV at the same time in both roles (something he pulled off brilliantly last Thursday, by the way, as the conversation between “Joseph Parks” and a pre-recorded Abyss was as close to seamless as one could want). With that said, here are a few of the more “predictable” ways this could play out:

1- Joseph Park could reveal that he is actually Abyss, possibly after the Abyss music hits to distract Ray, while “Joseph” simply dons the mask in the ring- and then ensues to Black Hole Slam Bully Ray for the win.
2- TNA could have another wrestler dress up as Abyss and interfere.
3- “Abyss” steps on stage to distract Bully Ray, and Joe ‘The Wimp’ Parks scores a victory with one hesitant, yet lucky punch.

Truth be told, I have ZERO idea what is going to happen. I’d like to believe that it will be none of those extremely predictable scenarios, in part because I hate predictable endings but mostly because I do not believe this angle is anywhere close to being over. Furthermore, Bully Ray already jobbed to Austin Aries last month in a match he “should not have lost”. Another thing to consider is that I don’t believe TNA wants to try and figure out some way to get both “Joe” & “Chris” on TV at the same time because there’s just no way to pull it off convincingly, and lastly, I also do not believe that Abyss will be Crimson’s mystery opponent because I’m pretty certain I already know who that will be.

So… the only logical conclusion remaining is that, although I really have no idea what the means to the end will be, somehow Bully Ray wins this one to keep the mystery-novel going, and then has to look over his shoulder for the rest of the night wondering when and where exactly Abyss will strike to exact his revenge.

Winner: Bully Ray

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Crimson’s Open Challenge
47% of the fans believe Crimson will win

Even though I’ve been reminding everyone of the Bischoff-Goldberg meeting that took place almost a year ago, the mystery opponent will not be Bill Goldberg- although, I am going on record right now to say that if Crimson does keep his undefeated streak alive tonight, Goldberg will be his opponent at Bound For Glory. Some people are speculating that the mystery opponent will be The Pope D’Angelo Dinero, and as much as I would love that, given the fact that Pope is my second favorite wrestler behind Bobby Roode- it just doesn’t make any sense. Some people are also speculating Matt Morgan. First of all, bor-ing. Second of all, Morgan’s used up all of his TV dates for the year, so you’re just going to have to accept that Morgan is out with his “injury” until he can contractually return and get his revenge on Bully Ray (after the Abyss-Parks-Bully Ray story comes to an end months from now). There is also an outside chance that Abyss could be the mystery opponent. What better way would there be to send a message to Bully Ray than to come out and defeat the undefeated Crimson in fifteen seconds with one Black Hole Slam? I would have to say, there’s probably a 40% chance that this is exactly what will happen.

But let’s look at some other scenarios. Some are saying that Joey Ryan (Ron Burgundy-esque Gut-Check Loser) will be the guy. Not likely. No way he could hang with Crimson in a real fight. Some are also saying we will see Chris Masters since he just worked a dark match with Robbie E last Thursday night. Doubtful. Masters lost to Robbie E… so why would be able to defeat Crimson? Additionally, some are saying Christian will come out of the crowd to wrestle Crimson. Though this would indeed get a huge pop, what’s he going to do? End the streak and go back to the WWE to defend the Intercontinental Belt? Job to Crimson, and then go back to the WWE to defend the Intercontinental Belt? Face facts folks, Christian Cage is going to be nothing more than a face in the crowd.

My prediction? I am saying that there’s a forty-percent chance it’s Abyss (yes, I’m covering my ass here) and a sixty percent chance that it’s James Storm. Remember the vignette that played two weeks ago on iMPACT? Storm evaded the answer of when he’s coming back. I say it’s at their second-biggest-event of the year. Fans are buying in to this whole “Live” and “Anything Goes” type atmosphere, and I say they go for broke Sunday night. Again, Storm was at the Country Music Awards for a reason. He’s coming back to end Crimson’s streak, and Bobby Roode is “Next”.

Winner: James Storm

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World Tag Team Championship
AJ Styles & Kurt Angle vs Kazarian & Daniels (c)
58% of the fans believe Kaz & Daniels will win

Well, as I predicted last month, Kurt Angle would be gunning for Kaz & Daniels Tag Team Belts at Slammiversary, however… I really believed it would be in the form of The World’s Greatest Tag Team/ Team Angle/ Haas & Benjamin coming over to TNA. But seeing as how they just won the tag belts back at Ring of Honor, I guess TNA had to go with plan B.

Not only is it way too early to take the tag belts off of Daniels & Kazarian, again, there is no way to guess what is going to happen here because AJ Styles is literally the center of that “chaos wheel” I mentioned in the Hall of Fame Inductee prediction. All I do know is, there is no way that Angle & Styles pull this off.

Winner: Kazarian & Daniels

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Number One Contender’s Match
Van Dam vs Jeff Hardy vs Mr. Anderson
33% of the fans believe Van Dam will win, 37% Hardy, 30% Anderson

Glad to see nearly all of the other blogs are (finally) seeing the light on what I’ve been bitching about for months- ENOUGH already with Hardy, Anderson, and RVD ALWAYS being in the number-one-contender’s spotlight. This is the professional wrestling equivalent of being force fed three-month-old limburger cheese. But to their credit, I think TNA is aware of that, and this is where that trend ends.

So, as far as predicting this match goes, logic would indicate that Hardy and RVD have already had their turn, and therefore it should be Anderson’s who gets the win. But that’s exactly the logic I am counting on. Anderson needs to get “screwed” to begin part two of the Hardy-Anderson “feud” they set up last month when Hardy scored a lucky win over Anderson based on the referee’s error. For that to happen, they could let RVD win and get the title shot next Thursday while Hardy & Anderson duke it out in a separate match, but since RVD just had his title shot at Sacrifice (in quite boring fashion) I think that’s a rather unlikely scenario. It’s my belief that Hardy scores another referee-aided win in this one, and then Anderson gets his revenge by interfering in Hardy’s ensuing title match next week, to officially get the feud cooking and underway.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

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World Heavyweight Championship
Sting vs Bobby Roode (c)
66% of the fans believe Roode will win

As I said in the beginning, I expected Sting to “appear” during the ladder match between RVD and Bobby Roode last month in order to set this up. I figured Sting’s face was on the Sacrifice poster for a reason. But hey, I was close- Sting vs Roode is still the main event this month, regardless of how we got here.

Unfortunately, the ending to this match is just as predictable. But that’s really a small complaint seeing as how nearly every other match on this card is a coin toss. Either way, Sting has scored the victory over Roode two weeks in a row now, and in fact, made him tap out both weeks. Regardless of anything else, that alone ‘tells’ me that Roode will score the win tonight. With that said, since I am pretty damn confident that James Storm is going to end Crimson’s streak at this PPV, I’m also pretty sure that he’s going to get involved in this match, with a beer bottle, causing the Icon Sting to get disqualified. This might be a bit of a stretch, especially since Bound For Glory is four months away and I am dead set positive that that’s where Storm will get the belt back from Bobby Roode… but I believe it’s also a superior alternative to having Sting or Roode lose cleanly at this juncture. Regardless of the “how”, Bobby Roode walks away from this PPV with the belt around his waist.

Winner: Bobby Roode

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Want more predictions? Catch Smart Mark Radio Pro Wrestling Weekend
LIVE at 6PM ET on Sunday June 10, 2012!

As always, @SmartassesNet will be tweeting LIVE during the Pay Per View!

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