TNA Bound For Glory 2013 Predictions – October 20, 2013 – Predictions from Smartasses Magazine Senior Editor- Johnny Video.
TNA Bound For Glory 2013 Predictions | Pay Per View Predictions – SA Magazine
So Bound For Glory is the TNA Pay Per View that’s supposed to rival Wrestlemania? Seriously? First of all, whatever happened to the TV Title? Wasn’t it going to be defended on TV every week, brother, yet we haven’t seen it since Slammiversary last Summer? That’s just a drop in the proverbial bucket of everything that’s wrong with TNA these days. I honestly cannot recall a more boring go-home show than the one they aired on Thursday. Everything on this card, with the exception of it’s most head-scratching match (Sting vs Magnus), and the Heavyweight Championship (which feels very thrown together at the last minute due to contract negotiations with Hulk Hogan) has had almost no buildup to it. What exactly is there to be excited about? The reason “Ahab gets dragged under the water by a harpooned Moby Dick” is exciting, is because the book precedes that part with “Call me Ishmael” and a whole bunch of other good stuff. I realize it’s a short attention span world TNA, but cool it with the Cliff’s notes. WWE may tell children’s tales that are insulting to the intellect, but at least they’re actually telling something. I gave TNA a pass on the first two times they did PPV’s this year, just because I understand restructuring the yearly format requires some patience. But come on… we’ve had ten months to build up now, and with each of these horrible lineups, it becomes ever more obvious that the right hand of TNA (whoever that even is) has no clue what the left one is doing.
TNA Bound For Glory Pre-Show
Christopher Daniels & Kazarian vs. Joseph Park & Eric Young vs. Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez vs. Bro-Mans
Way to steal an idea from the WWE. TNA, do you even understand that the fans despise pre-shows? But… at least it’s on Spike TV and we can actually leave the computer off if we want to. With that said, the Bro-Mans have the benefit of the final entry into the gauntlet, which tells me there are going to have to be some good guys facing them for the final match up. I was all set to declare Bad Influence the winners of this, since they’re not only the most deserving of the belts, but also the best contest for the babyface champions that are Gunner & Storm… but now it makes no sense. Since Chavo & Hernandez were trying for heel-heat the last time we saw them, that really leaves Young & Park as the only good guys in the group- which makes everything even more confusing, since that shakes down to two jobber-teams fighting for the number one contendership. I realize that to date, Robbie E and Jessie Godderz haven’t been able to fight their way out of a paper bag, but maybe TNA is finally waking up to just how entertaining these guys can be. The same can be said about Young & Park, however, the whole title bout will be a lot more entertaining if it’s good versus evil.
Ultimate X: TNA X-Division Championship
Manik (c) vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe
Where is Kenny King? Since we’re asking questions, didn’t we just do this match at Slammiversary? Credit TNA for trying to give the fans “what they want”, but when you go to the well this many times, it becomes a little obvious that you’re expecting us to Pavlovian-jizz, just because you put the words “Ultimate X” on the card. With that said, I suppose the only recourse here is to break things down one at a time. First of all, the fans love Manik. Secondly, the fans also love Jeff Hardy, but come on… the X Division? Sure, they sold it by having the charismatic-enigma twang out the words, “I want to do something I’ve never done before!” but the division is beneath him on paper, and secondly, he hasn’t even been on TV. So we can rule him out. That leaves us with Sabin, Aries and Samoa Joe. Truth be told here, with the exception of Hardy, there really is no wrong move here. Sabin and Aries have been getting a fairly decent push as of late, leading fans to believe it comes down to one of them. But I think the push is just a means to an end, to set up a nice feud between the two. I’m looking at Joe’s presence on Impact the other night, along with Kurt Angle’s recent kind words about the Samoan Submission Machine as a portent of things to come. Angle’s correct — Samoa Joe is a cornerstone of the company, and does deserve a push. I’d love to see Joe hold the belt for a record amount of time, and exercise “Option C” next Summer, and cash it in for a Heavyweight title bout. But Kenny King should still be in this match.
Winner: Samoa Joe
TNA Knockouts Title
ODB (c) vs. Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher
It’s so sad that the Knockouts have taken a page out of the Diva’s Division, in the sense that the belt seems to rotate every three months… and they basically write on your forehead the name of who the next female champ will be. Which is basically a short winded way of saying that neither Gail Kim nor Brooke Tessmacher will wrest the belt from ODB. In fact, ODB won’t ‘win’ the match either, but she will retain on the DQ after Tamina… err, Lei’D Tapa, the proclaimed “Queen of Rings” comes out and bodyslams everyone motionless. I guess we’re supposed to forget that Gail Kim won the Queen of the Ring title five weeks ago (even though we’re not supposed to know it was taped on St. Patty’s Day) and beat Tapa’s ass.
Winner: Draw, or ODB via DQ
Main Event Mafia Battle
Sting vs. Magnus
If Sting didn’t already command so much respect just for being Sting, and having the coolest entrance music in all of professional wrestling… instead of “This. Is. Wrestling.” there is no doubt in my mind the crowd would be shouting “We. Don’t. Care.” Seriously, what is the thinking here? The Main Event Mafia turned into another failed story-line, so let’s try and milk it for something? What are the options here? Magnus wins and has to wonder if Sting let him win? Magnus wins and everyone in the MEM is a happy boy? Sting beats Magnus and drives him over the edge? Magnus wins causing a role-reversal and Sting begins to question if he’s too old (setting up a way to get him over to WWE in time for Wrestlemania)? Given the way TNA books these days, I would not at all be shocked if they choose the worst of these four options and go with the second one. But I’m going to bank on the hope that somebody knows what they are doing backstage, and predict option three.
Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode
Picture this– TNA has Bobby Roode, one of, if not the greatest all around wrestler on the planet under contract, and has a full year to do *anything* with him on the build up to Bound For Glory… but instead, they choose to wait until a mere two weeks before their biggest pay-per-view event of the year… to throw some barely-interesting tale together just to get him and Angle on the card. And TNA wonders why they don’t make any money? Truth be told, TNA has been dropping the ball with Bobby Roode, ever since they had Austin Aries take the belt from him in 2011, when they had the opportunity to give the fans a culmination to what could have been one of the greatest feuds in all of wrestling history (Roode vs Storm) and opted to make the quick-buck instead by throwing away everything they’d been building to for nearly two full years. So this is just another notch on the bedpost of infamy. Does anyone really care who goes over here? Of course they don’t, because it’s typical TNA quick-booking, which never allows for a fan to get emotionally invested in anything. So go with Angle, just on the premise that it’s his Hall of Fame induction night. If you’re feeling froggy, go ahead and bet on some interference from a disgruntled Bad Influence as well.
Winner: Kurt Angle
TNA World Tag-Team Titles
Gunner & James Storm (c) vs. Winner of the pre-show Gauntlet Match
TNA really needs to do something, anything, to both shock the world, and make James Storm relevant again. My hope is that they roll both of those balls by having the Bro-Mans cheat their way to victory here.
TNA World Heavyweight Title
No Disqualification Match
Bully Ray (c) vs. AJ Styles
Well, we already tried to recreate the CM Punk pipebomb (yawn), so what’s next, the Dixie-AJ San Diego Screwjob? Nah. TNA is giving themselves too much credit by thinking they’ve built up to an emotional and triumphant moment for AJ Styles… by having him banned from heavyweight title contention all last Winter causing his regression into lone-wolf-ness, to his “out of nowhere” victory in the BFG Series, to “The Woman” trying to keep him down. I’m sure it looked good on paper. It’s up to you whether or not you believe Hogan will rear his bleached head or not (hopefully he just stays away for real, and this isn’t a swerve).
Winner: AJ Styles
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