Angelina Jolie Has Double Mastectomy

Angelina Jolie – “I decided to be proactive, and to minimize the risk as much I could.”

Angelina Jolie Has Double Mastectomy | Phony NewsSA Magazine

On Tuesday, actress Angelina Jolie announced in a New York Times article, that she underwent a preventive, double mastectomy, after learning that she carries a mutation of the BRCA1 gene, which sharply increases her risk of developing breast cancer. “My doctors estimated that I had an eighty-seven percent chance of breast cancer,” Jolie wrote, “and once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive, and to minimize the risk as much I could.” Public reaction to Jolie’s decision, has mostly been one of shock- not because she elected to have or needed the surgery, but because most people never realized she had breasts in the first place.

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Angelina Jolie Has Double Mastectomy




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On Wednesday, Italian president Giorgio Napolitano, seeking to bring an end to two months of political uncertainty, which has upset financial markets all over the globe, called upon Enrico Letta, to try his hand at forming a coalition government. Late on Saturday, Mister Letta announced, that he had been successful. The new coalition, which is seen as a merger between the Centre-Left Democratic Party, and the People of Freedom Party, marks the sixty-first different Italian Government, in the past sixty-six years. Mr Letta was reported as saying, that he probably would have been able to scrounge something together a little sooner, but that they were waiting on Jeff Probst to come and extinguish President Napolitano’s coconut.

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Rapper Psy says the releasing of his new single Gentleman, was, “The worst time ever.” The South Korean recording artist said in an interview with MTV News. “I released the video on Friday, and on Saturday I had a huge 50,000-person concert in Korea … and that same week, on Monday and Tuesday, I did the shooting, and I was done with the shooting on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, we were editing, and I was rehearsing, and I was memorizing all the choreography…. so that week, it was like hell.” When asked to share her thoughts on the creator-of-Gangnam-Style’s rough week, Mary Beth Worthington, a 12 year old honor student at Strader Middle School replied, “My parents grounded me, so my week is a bummer too” all while millions of jobless people, all over the world, responded by continuing to eat out of garbage cans.

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Within hours of the Boston Marathon bombings, the controversial, Westboro Baptist Church, took to Twitter to celebrate the carnage, and announce plans to protest the funerals of those killed, tweeting “God sent the bombs in fury over fag marriage! #PraiseGod!” The group, based in Topeka, Kansas, issued a follow up press release on Saturday, stating, “Obama is chiefly to blame for bringing down the wrath of God on Boston and the USA. Mr. Obama vows, that those responsible for the Boston Marathon Bombs, would feel the full weight of justice? Well, Hello Mr. Pervert In Chief!? God sent those bombs!” Though of course God could not be reached for a rebuttal, it is being reported that, in ironically similar stories, both Neil Patrick Harris and Bill Clinton, have filed to have their names changed immediately to Mister Pervert In Chief.

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The capture of the Boston Marathon bombing suspect, raises a host of major legal issues, for a society, still feeling the shadow of September 11, including, how he should be charged, where he might be tried, and whether the bombings on Boylston Street last Monday were a crime… or an act of war. When the rest of America was polled on the issues, 73% of Americans voted, “We don’t care, as long as we can start hating the Patriots, Red Sox, and Celtics again, as soon as humanly possible.”

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The Iraqi government, ordered ten, predominantly Sunni Muslim, satellite television channels to cease broadcasting Sunday, accusing them of encouraging the sectarian unrest that left more than 200 people dead in a week of violence in northern Iraq. The stations, included the pan-Arab news channel Al Jazeera, and well-known local satellite stations. Iraqi citizens were said to not be too terribly upset, as long as they didn’t miss the next episode of How I Met Your Muhrim Mujahid.

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The Jets’ decision to draft West Virginia quarterback Geno Smith in the second round of the NFL Draft on Saturday, ultimately could result in incumbent starter Mark Sanchez’s release from the team, but that potential departure might not come for quite some time. Jets first-year general manager John Idzik, said early Sunday morning in a briefing, that Sanchez will compete with Geno Smith, as well as the team’s other quarterbacks — Tim Tebow, David Garrard, Greg McElroy and Matt Simms. However, when the Jets mini-camp opens in July, it’s now being reported that the team will also invite Vince Young, JaMarcus Russell, Ryan Leaf, Todd Marinovich, Art Schlichter, Bubby Brister, Vince Evans, 69 year old Joe Namath, the New York City Rockettes, and the corpses of Otto Graham & Vincent Price to try out as well.

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If you happened to be staring up into the sky on Friday, you would have seen a little piece of history, specifically, a large hunk of space rock crashing into the moon, and generating the biggest lunar explosion since scientists first started monitoring the Moon for impacts in 2005. Just how big was the blast? Spokesman for NASA, Bill Cooke stated, “On May 17, 2013, an object about the size of a small boulder hit the lunar surface.” or in laymen’s terms, a rock roughly the size of thirteen Kim Kardashian asses.

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