Supergirl / Contract Killers

Supergirl (1984) 3.5/5 Stars

“This was the 80’s, and for all intents and purposes, back then, Supergirl was the pure embodiment of Girl Power.”

SupergirlSupergirl - DVD Reviews - Smartasses Magazine DVD Review – Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway, Peter O’Toole, Brenda Vaccaro. After losing a powerful orb, Kara, Superman’s cousin, comes to Earth to retrieve it and instead finds herself up against a wicked witch.

On the heels of Melissa Benoist starring in the new Supergirl television show on CBS, it seems only fair to dust off the Helen Slater original, and give it everything it’s worth. If you’re interested at all, there is a limited edition version available out there for a penny even prettier than the Maid of Might’s red go-go boots, but for all intents and purposes, we’ll be reviewing the run-of-the-mill variety here.

Moving forward, don’t worry about us getting on a soapbox to point out all of the ins and outs of what this film does or does not do for girl-power, not unlike recent reviews you may have encountered regarding the leaked CBS TV pilot and it’s comparisons to an SNL Scarlett Johansson skit. This was the 80’s, and for all intents and purposes, back then, Supergirl was the pure embodiment of “Girl Power” (Editor’s note: Which is exactly why SG was named our #2 Sexiest Comic Book Babe of All Time).

Onto the film. Again, it was the eighties. Which simply means that, in and of itself, the fact that something is “from the eighties” tends to be both a badge of honor and a disclaimer. Those of you who were around at the time, probably don’t think of that decade as being “behind the times”, only because you can still groove out to a good Michael Jackson or Pebbles song and not feel that much of a difference from the things being released on the air today. But trust me on this one, it was. Which that alone should do a sufficient job of allowing you to comprehend what you can expect if you buy this film. Indeed, on the badge-of-honor side of the fence, the movie does embody all of the innocence that the decade provided. Consider for a moment, the special effects. Though they were a veritable wow back then, given their precocious little effort to be state of the art, one might use the word “cute” to describe them if one were to judge them by today’s standards.

But despite all of those harmless shortcomings of naivete you may find in the film, few would argue that even some thirty years later, Helen Slater is still the quintessential Supergirl. Furthermore, when one considers Wonder Woman’s campy outfit that literally changed heel sizes from scene to scene, most people would argue that Slater’s red, yellow and blue costume was the very first female superhero costume on-screen that actually looked great.

Acting-wise, yes, we’ve seen much better out of Peter O’Toole, but Dunaway didn’t miss a beat. Storywise, though you’re not missing any great tale (think Superman 3), nor a key piece of the DC Comics continuum, you should at least still rent this before the TV show hits the airwaves, if for nothing more than an alternate perspective… and of course, a deep love of Girl Power.

DVD Features: Region 1 Note: This release contains the European theatrical version with 10 minutes of footage not seen in North American theaters. Keep Case Unrated Full Frame – 1.33 Widescreen – 2.39 Audio: Closed Captioned – English – Optional Dolby Digital Surround Sound – English, French Subtitles – English, French, Spanish – Optional Additional Release Material: Audio Commentary: Jeannot Szwarc – Director; Scott Bosco – Historian Trailers: Theatrical Trailer. – CD Universe

Click here to view the Trailer. – Derk Steele: Staff Editor


Contract Killers (2008) 2.5/5 Stars

“Thin acting and a thick plot go together about as well as a tequila & coke.”

Contract Killers - DVD Reviews | Smartasses MagazineContract Killers DVD Review – Frida Farrell, Nick Mancuso, Rhett Giles, Wolf Muser. There should be some sort of a mathematical equation that automatically stops and ejects the movie, whenever you run into a flick where the actor’s names sound more badass than the film actually is.

The whole appeal of a B- Movie, is that you don’t have to think. For example, it’s always cool to get some ironing done or washing dishes while Chuck Norris is whooping North Korean ass in the background. That’s what this movie failed to grasp. Thin acting and a thick plot go together about as well as a tequila & coke.

Speaking of which, if you ever decide to make a drinking game out of this film, where everyone has to take a swig whenever an actor displays an emotion or facial expression- no worries, you’ll be driving home sober that evening.

DVD Features: Keep Case Full Frame – 1.33 Widescreen – 1.85 Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 – English SDH – English Subtitles – Spanish Additional Release Material: Trailers: Previews. – CD Universe

Click here to view the Trailer. – Derk Steele: Staff Editor


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