Legion / Blonde And Blonder / Dolan’s Cadillac / Love Lies Bleeding

Critic views of films starring the women of Smartasses, Asian movies, and some DVDs you may have overlooked.

Legion / Blonde And Blonder / Dolan’s Cadillac / Love Lies Bleeding | DVD Reviews – SA Magazine

Legion (2010) 2.5/5 Stars

“Two more fight scenes and a teensy bit more depth/explanation would have made this a classic.”

Legion - DVD Reviews | Smartasses MagazineLegion DVD Review – Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Willa Holland. This movie approaches the border of greatness during the first half, but just can’t seem to get across.

Clearly inspired by The Terminator, with a twist of The Mist and (insert zombie movie here)… just as I moved to the edge of my seat, they gave us a respite… and it just never picked up again. First half of the story was five stars, second half was a goose egg. Perhaps, two more fight scenes and a teensy bit more depth/explanation would have made this a classic.

DVD Features: Region 1 Note: Creating the apocalypse – behind the physical effects – Humanity’s last line of defense – the cast and characters – From pixels to picture – a look at the visual effects Widescreen – 2.35 Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 – English, French Subtitles – English, French. – CD Universe

Blu-ray Disc Features: Note: Creating the Apocalypse – behind the physical effects Humanity’s last line of defense – the cast and characters From pixels to picture – a look at the visual effects Bringing Angels to earth: Picture-in-picture Movie IQ+sync and BD-live connect you to real-time information on the cast, music, trivia and more while watching the movie! Widescreen – 2.39 Audio: DTS HD Master Audio – English, French Subtitles – English, French. CD Universe

Click here to view the Trailer. – Derk Steele: Staff Editor




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Blonde And Blonder (2007) 1/5 Stars

“Never once will this film ask you to think. It wouldn’t ask a second grader to think.”

Blonde And Blonder - DVD Reviews | Smartasses MagazineBlonde And Blonder DVD Review – Pamela Anderson, Denise Richards, Emmanuelle Vaugier. Imagine if you will, going to see amateur night at the local comedy club, and you’re watching a horribly unfunny comedian. Eventually, you start laughing, simply because the person on stage doesn’t realize just how bad he or she is. That’s this movie.

Never once will this film ask you to think. It wouldn’t ask a second grader to think. In fact, Pam and Denise’s acting is so poor, they even fail at pretending to be dumb. Somehow, this even limited their ability to succeed as background eye candy.

For me, it was Emmanuelle Vaugier who stole the show, and seeing as how she’s occasionally somewhat acting impaired in her own right, that’s saying a mouthful. I actually loved her performance in this one though. She should do more films where she is the heel- she’s quite good at it. Unfortunately, just like Uma Thurman couldn’t save the dismal Batman & Robin flick from that infamous garbage pile of horrific films, with what many would call an outstanding performance, neither can Vaugier’s juicy naughtiness save this one.

DVD Features: Keep Case Full Frame – 1.33 Audio: (unspecified) – English. – CD Universe

Click here to view the Trailer. – Derk Steele: Staff Editor

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Dolan’s Cadillac (2009) 2.5/5 Stars

“Rent this one for Vaugier’s hotness and a little bit of background noise while you give the cat a bath.”

Dolan's Cadillac - DVD Reviews | Smartasses MagazineDolan’s Cadillac DVD Review – Christian Slater, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Wes Bentley. Friendly reminder: As unbelievably hot as she is, when you see Emmanuelle Vaugier listed as first billed, you know you’re in for a bad B movie.

This one was pretty campy. Christian Slater is an uber rich Super Villain… who the FBI can’t seem to catch despite the fact that a sixth grade teacher seemingly can, and is also a villain who can, apparently, only afford one silk, grey suit to wear through the entire movie. Throw in the insanely unrealistic Wile E. Coyote trap (straight from ACME) that’s set for Slater towards the end, and this is pretty laughable. Fortunately, there is just enough ‘Stephen King-ness’ to this movie to save it from two stars… and ‘Stephen King’ is usually a bad thing. Rent this one for Vaugier’s hotness and a little bit of background noise while you give the cat a bath.

DVD Features: Note: “Behind the wheel of Dolan’s Cadillac” featurette Behind-the-scenes footage Widescreen – 1.78 Audio: Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo – English Dolby Digital 5.1 – English Subtitles – Spanish. – CD Universe

Blu-ray Disc Features: Note: “Behind the Wheel of Dolan’s Cadillac” featurette Behind-the-scenes footage Widescreen – 1.85 Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 – English DTS HD Master Audio – English Subtitles – Spanish. – CD Universe

Click here to view the Trailer. – Derk Steele: Staff Editor

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Love Lies Bleeding (2008) 4.5/5 Stars

“I love how this film breaks from the mold of just another kooky chase across the country movie.”

Love Lies Bleeding - DVD Reviews | Smartasses MagazineLove Lies Bleeding DVD Review – Christian Slater, Jenna Dewan, Brian Geraghty. One of the most underrated movies around.

I love how this film breaks from the mold of just another kooky chase across the country movie. It could have been so easy for this film to pigeonhole itself, and be the same old movie you’ve seen a hundred times before, but it didn’t.

Someone on the writing staff understood that a lot of blind innocence in a world of nothing but sin would make for a delightful, tongue in cheek contrast- and they were right, and Dewan and Geraghty pull it off wonderfully.

As for Slater, he basically plays the same type of ‘mob boss’ character that you can catch him playing in Dolan’s Cadillac, a year after this film was made, and it’s not really his best character.

DVD Features: Anamorphic Widescreen – 2.35 Full Frame – 1.33 Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 – English, French Subtitles – English, French – Optional Additional Release Material: Alternate Ending Deleted Scenes (16). – CD Universe

Click here to view the Trailer. – Derk Steele: Staff Editor

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