Brianna Garcia – March 2017


Brianna Garcia Smartasses Magazine Amazing Gal of the Month March 2017It is March here at Smartasses Magazine, which, if you’ve been a fan of us for any length of time, you already know that the month o’ green formerly meant only one thing, to not only those of us inside the SMAG offices, but to you the reader as well- and that of course was that the reveal of our annual Top 100 was only a mere days away. But alas, things do change. As it turns out, as opposed to our typical Saint Patrick’s Day-ish unveiling, our magazine’s 2017 Top 100 Sexiest Women Alive will actually be revealed on Sunday, April 9 this year. When you combine that truism, with the coronation of Brianna Garcia into Goddesshood just a short twelve months ago, the only thing that the letters M-a-r-c-h stand for around here now, is the yearly celebration of Briannamas. We said it twelve months ago, and we will reiterate it now, “In order to seal Your deification, Brianna of Garcia, every sixth day of the third month shall henceforth be known as Briannamas, and You, Goddess Brianna Almighty, shall be the Amazing Gal of the Month every March.”


Brianna Garcia – “Don’t be discouraged by this administration. Resist, and use your voice to speak up against the injustices being inflicted on you and your fellow human beings.”


Brianna Garcia Smartasses Magazine Amazing Gal of the Month March 2017Smartasses: So what have You been up to since we proclaimed You a god last March?

Brianna: First of all, again- what an honor! Well last year my band made the Pot Boiler EP, which we had an awesome time making. We’re writing new stuff now and we’re going to be releasing a lot of new stuff & playing tons of shows this year. We’ve played a lot, and got a new drummer since last year, and he’s pretty amazing. I am excited for the future.

Smartasses: Tell us how Lust & Lies’ Pot Boiler is performing, and where people can buy?

Brianna: It’s doing well, and we’ve gotten so much great feedback on it. It’s on iTunes, Spotify, CD Baby, Amazon Music, pretty much everywhere online.

Smartasses: Tell us about Drunken Karaoke nights at Universal Bar & Grill. Pretty wild ride?

Brianna: Absolutely, we play the first and third Wednesday every month, an hour long set. Before and after karaoke is going on, people are more sober and serious before we get on. We’re like the drinking intermission. People get smashed and watch us play, then come up and sing karaoke, sometimes we do too. It’s so much fun.

Smartasses: Wow, sounds fun. But, as You know, we love to hear You rant. What’s Your take on all of this Donald Trump crap?

Brianna: With all that’s going on, that’s nearly impossible to answer. Too many talking points. To sum it up, this is a dark time in recent American history, but we’ve seen worse. Still, so much of what is going on, by any rational measure, shouldn’t be happening. It however is, and it is coming to seem that there is no part of the world immune to backlash against progress. People fear change, things they do not understand, new people integrating into their society, new ideas, conflicting beliefs. People cling to their cultures, their religions, their prejudices, their ideas even, and it is easier to do that than not. Trump is a consequence of that.

Brianna Garcia Smartasses Magazine Amazing Gal of the Month March 2017Smartasses: What would You say to encourage other women now living in Trumplandia?

Brianna: Don’t be discouraged by this administration. Resist, and use your voice to speak up against the injustices being inflicted on you and your fellow human beings. Pay close attention to what’s going on, but don’t let it consume you. Don’t let yourself be swayed into voting on or agreeing with policies that are against your, or other women’s interests, because you feel indifferent to them. Stand up for your POC Sisters, Trans Sisters, Disabled Sisters, Poverty Stricken Sisters, Etc. Even if you don’t identify with their struggle, stand with them, listen to them, and know that even though you may never fully understand their struggle, compassion and understanding makes the world a better place. Stand with them as you hope they would stand with you. Live, and let live, life is hard enough. Be understanding of those you find hard to understand. Do not let anyone’s idea of what’s appropriate, or feminine, stifle who you are. Speak up when you witness injustice. Life’s better for everyone when we support each other! You are important.

Smartasses: Very well said. Of course. So… what can we look forward to from Brianna next?

Brianna: Some really killer music with my band Lust & Lies.

Gaga for Garcia? Visit our Brianna Garcia bio for more history, photos, links to all of her Smartasses Radio interviews and official social networking sites!


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20 NEW Questions with Brianna Garcia – Miss March 2017

Brianna Garcia Smartasses Magazine Amazing Gal of the Month March 20171 – Would You rather punch Donald Trump in the face, or kick him in the beans? I would rather let his failed Presidency do him in.

2 – Stouffer’s Mac & Cheese or Velveeta Shells & Cheese? Never had either, lol. I make some bomb vegan Mac tho.

3 – Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman or Melissa Benoist as Supergirl? Neither, sorry.

4 – Favorite wine? Merlot. Probably Schub.

5 – Most underrated vegan dish? Cauliflower Buffalo Wings, breaded and fried with the right sauce and margarine. Also, Smoked Carrot Lox.

6 – Must have fashion accessory for 2017? Curtains for pants.

7 – The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones? Game of Thrones is the greatest show of all time. I still love Walking Dead and it’s probably my second favorite show.

8 – Favorite Mexican dish? I love tostadas. Second only to a fat Chalupa.

9 – Favorite Italian dish? Pasta Primavera. But really pizza.

10 – Betty or Veronica? Always Veronica.

11 – Would You rather pull Melania Trump’s hair or just shame her publicly and shatter her fragile ego? I don’t blame her, and at the end of the day she has to put up with that man. I don’t think she’s behind any of this, I don’t think she fully understands all of it. I think she’s just doing her best to ride the wave before it inevitably comes crashing down.

Brianna Garcia Smartasses Magazine Amazing Gal of the Month March 201712 – Most bingeable show on Netflix? Well I watched all of Stranger Things in practically one go, so there’s that. I am never sure what anything I am watching is on, I have one of those Android Element boxes and I get literally everything.

13 – If it were up to You, what would You make a film about? Music, Animal Welfare, The Rise & Fall of The United States. Something like that.

14 – Pet bunny or pet turtle? I feel like with all the music equipment at my place a rabbit would die here, plus I have a cat. That said, rabbits are adorable. I actually had one once. My step sister bought me one for Easter ( pets are not gifts ), a tiny little bunny that peed on me immediately, but was so adorable I named it Cupcake. I had the incredible opportunity to go to Space Camp soon after for just a few days (some of the best days of my childhood), my mom had just had my youngest brother and was recovering so my step dad decided to watch over the rabbit while I was away, and by that I mean he put the rabbit outside in the Florida heat for three days, without food or water, and when I came back my bunny was toast, literally. So still being a little scarred by that, I’d probably have to go with turtle.

15 – Autumn or Spring, and how’s come? Autumn because it’s just the loveliest time, to me. Halloween, cool weather, fall flavors. Love it all! Spring is nice too though.

16 – Obamacare, yes or no? Yes. Expand.

17 – Snapchat or Periscope? Snapchat. It’s easier to me.

Brianna Garcia Smartasses Magazine Amazing Gal of the Month March 201718 – Black Sabbath or AC/DC? AC/DC, but I do love me some Sabbath.

19 – Would You rather slap Ivanka Trump in the face or just pour bleach all over her expensive shoes and laugh? Again, my battle is not with Ivanka.

20 – What is the one Vegan dish You’d recommend to a meat eater to sway them to the green side? The PETA Back to School “Chicken” Salad. Add dried cranberries on some super sexy sourdough bread. Or my sloppy joes, you can use lentils or vegan ground beef (typically pea protein based), and a basic sloppy joe recipe. I add some kick typically. Everyone I’ve ever made it for couldn’t tell the difference and I’ve even been told it was the best sloppy joe some have ever eaten. I really like sloppy joes so they’re made at my house quite frequently. Really there are so many delicious things. I eat a much larger variety of foods and flavors now compared to my meat days, when I would eat the same things or commonly get grossed out at veins, bones, chewy meat, blood, undercooked meat, etc. I like to ask the person their favorite dishes and veganize something for them, be it a hybrid or replica with quality ingredients that I know will satisfy what they are looking for.


© Smartasses March 2017